Fading

Idk why but for the past couple days there has been things that remind me of him. It's weird becuz my mind hasn't been on him for a while. I've seen ppl w/ the same punisher hat that he has, or a song would come on & it would remind me of the little things. I'm not annoyed or anything it's just kinda....weird. I was listenin to Rihanna's new album LOUD & I jus knew something would remind me of him & there is. The song ''California King Bed'' is one of my favorites but it describes how it was & how I felt dwn to a T. Another song is ''Fading'' & that describes how I feel rite now. There are alot of things I've forgotten & can't remember. I dnt remember what he looks or sounds like, what his car looks like, nothin. I'm not sayin I dnt have any love for him but I can really tell that I'm not in love w/ him anymore. The other day when he sent me that e-mail sayin that, it actually didn't hurt me. It shocked me becuz I thought that if he ever told me that I would b crushed but that really showed me that I jus didn't care anymore. I had this feeling for months that wouldn't go away. Something inside me changed. I didn't feel the way I used to when it came to me & him. I think that was why it was so easy for me to let go. I got tired of his shit. My cousin told me from the jump that he wasn't the one & my cousin only met him once, that's all it took, & my cousin is a very friendly person & makes friends fast so for him to tell me that was a huge shock for me. He told me ''No matter what you say it was more him than you, the reason why ya'll are where ya'll are at rite now is becuz he lost control''. Those words still float around in my head. When I sit back & look at what he did I can see where they was comin frm. I have my own opinions but I'm jus glad that my eyes are open now. There's really nuttin he can do to either change my mind, make me come back or even upset me. This new feeling is great. It feels great to know that that old me is gone. This one line hits me when I listen to Don't Need You by LeToya Luckett , ''How could someone so independent, become so damn submissive''. Everytime I hear that line I'm like Damn ! But hey the past is the past & I'm so glad the old me & feelings are fading.