For the past couple days I've been in a good space. I'm not as angry as I was but I kno that it's not all gone. My mind has been in a really great place. I've still got more growing to do & honestly i'm ready for it. I can't wait till the 3rd so I can find out what's goin on w/ me. I can finally get some answers. Saturday & Sunday I found myself thinkin about a relationship w/ Julius. I shocked myself because as much as I love him & he's always there for me we wouldn't wrk. It's crazy becuz ppl truly believe that we should be together but I kno in my heart that if we did I would come second to his ex & now I dnt come second to anybody. We argue to much & we get on each others nerves. It jus won't wrk. I like bein on my own. Alot of dudes has come out of no where tellin me they want me & all I can really do is jus sit back & laugh cuz I dtnt want them lol.. I told Jeffrey the other day that I dnt want kids. I wasn't sayin that becuz me & him wasn't together anymore, I said it becuz I dnt think I will find somebody to have kids w/. I caught myself imagining me w/ kids when I had my little cousins. I kno that I'm gonna be a mom someday but not around the time I originally planned. I'm feelin great jus doin me right now. Having this freedom feels so great & it's something I've wanted for the past couple years. Every now & then I find myself thinkin about him & the times we shared, good & bad. I sit back & smile because those were probably some of the best days of my life. My bestfriend told me that no matter what ya'll won't be able to leave each other alone because ya'll are each others 1st loves. Hey maybe she's right but idk what the future holds. Right now I'm jus livin my life bein happy w/ the ppl in it.